My mind goes a hundred miles a minute. Thoughts are constantly
tumbling over one another. Because of the chaos inside my head, I
rarely get anything done. I may start a project, but then I don't
finish it because my mind goes in another direction. I really enjoy
writing, because I am able to get my thoughts out on paper and it seems
to free up some space. It also helps me finish what I start because I
have something to refer back to and keep me accountable. When I started
this blog I thought it would be a great way to organize my thoughts
while encouraging myself in my walk with the Lord, my motherhood
journey, being the best wife I could be and also to keep me accountable
to my homeschooling and my homemaking duties. This blog was FOR me and BY me. However, something changed. I felt like I needed to create a
blog that looked like and sounded like all the others. I falsely
assumed that if I didn't blog x times a week about a specific topic, in a
specific way that I failed in this project. It ended up being all
about numbers - how many people viewed my page, how many followers I
had, etc. It became so overwhelming that I burned out after barely
starting. So I stopped, vowing to never do it again.
But
something has changed. My mind is in chaos and I miss writing. Real,
from my heart writing. Not for the benefit of anyone else, but for me.
For the peace it brings me. For the joy I feel. For the order it
brings my life. I started a different blog 6 years ago that was private
just for friends and family to keep up with what was going on in our
lives at the time. I read through it last night and I felt so much
peace. It reminded me what blogging did for me and my life. When I
didn't care what I was writing and how many people read it. The raw
emotions, and the truth that I shared on that private blog mean more to
me than I thought they ever would. I get a glimpse back on who I was
and where I was at the time. The things and people that were important
to me were laid bare. It was so refreshing!
So, I am
going to try to get back to this blog. To come and write about anything
and everything whenever I want - for my benefit. And if someone else
gets encouragement from it, then great! I pray that God blesses this
endeavor and that He can use this space to break me and make me into the
homemaking, teacher, mother, wife and friend that He wants me to be.
Wednesday, July 30, 2014
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