What I Want From This Endeavor

My mind goes a hundred miles a minute.  Thoughts are constantly tumbling over one another.  Because of the chaos inside my head, I rarely get anything done.  I may start a project, but then I don't finish it because my mind goes in another direction.  I really enjoy writing, because I am able to get my thoughts out on paper and it seems to free up some space.  It also helps me finish what I start because I have something to refer back to and keep me accountable.  When I started this blog I thought it would be a great way to organize my thoughts while encouraging myself in my walk with the Lord, my motherhood journey, being the best wife I could be and also to keep me accountable to my homeschooling and my homemaking duties.  This blog was FOR me and BY me.  However, something changed.  I felt like I needed to create a blog that looked like and sounded like all the others.  I falsely assumed that if I didn't blog x times a week about a specific topic, in a specific way that I failed in this project.  It ended up being all about numbers - how many people viewed my page, how many followers I had, etc.  It became so overwhelming that I burned out after barely starting.  So I stopped, vowing to never do it again.

But something has changed.  My mind is in chaos and I miss writing.  Real, from my heart writing.  Not for the benefit of anyone else, but for me.  For the peace it brings me.  For the joy I feel.  For the order it brings my life.  I started a different blog 6 years ago that was private just for friends and family to keep up with what was going on in our lives at the time.  I read through it last night and I felt so much peace.  It reminded me what blogging did for me and my life.  When I didn't care what I was writing and how many people read it.  The raw emotions, and the truth that I shared on that private blog mean more to me than I thought they ever would.  I get a glimpse back on who I was and where I was at the time.  The things and people that were important to me were laid bare.  It was so refreshing!

So, I am going to try to get back to this blog.  To come and write about anything and everything whenever I want - for my benefit.  And if someone else gets encouragement from it, then great! I pray that God blesses this endeavor and that He can use this space to break me and make me into the homemaking, teacher, mother, wife and friend that He wants me to be.

I'm back!

I'm alive!  Whew!  It's taken me a long time to realize this! :-)  No, I've just been very busy.  My mind has been too busy to come up with anything to blog about!  Even today, I don't really know what to say, but here I am anyway!  I would love to get back into a blogging schedule.  So pray for me! :-)

I have been down for the last month or so, and I couldn't really pinpoint what the problem was, (other then being so busy)  but the past few days, several things have happened and they really helped lighten my heart!  I think that I was just carrying around some sin that I needed to let go!  It's funny...I think that God just shut me down, until He could get through my very very thick head!  Here's one of my problems.  I love lists and schedules!  But I tend to over fill those lists and schedules and run from one thing to another all day!  I may get them all completed but I don't really include God in any of it!  And then, I get depressed because I feel like nothing I do actually matters!  I recently had a dear sweet friend tell me that we need to remember that what we do at home shouldn't be done for anyone but the Lord!  That comment has stuck with me and really seems to help!  My hubby might not notice that the windows were cleaned AGAIN, and my Arrow might follow behind me and re-mess up the room, but my Loving Father in Heaven sees everything that I do and He is proud of me!  And that's what matters!

So here's to a new outlook on all my duties of being a loving, competent helpmeet to my husband, mother to my son and most importantly, a Daughter of the Most High King!

Blessings to you all!

Monday Night

Good evening everyone!  I thought I'd just drop in  and let you all know that I am completely uninspired, blogwise!  I have nothing to say!  Any ideas that you all would be kind enough to share?

Blessings for a cozy evening!

A Very Quick Note...

I'm not sure what happened and when it happened, but it has come to my attention that my comments aren't working!  Weird!  Well, I think that I have it fixed!  So, please come back and leave your comments again, please!  I love comments and it saddens me to think that I missed your kind words!  Comments make my day!:-)
I hope you all are having a blessed Friday!

Blessings...